the long process of looking for a job..

so i interviewed for a front desk position at a hotel this week and they told me they'd get back to me on indeed and said they were still going through applicants. so at least they're keeping me updated on my application status and not just leaving me with my hopes up wondering what's going on. douglas came over last night and we were discussing about how i went to interviews at a hotel and a healthcare program. he told me to just keep applying, eventually someone will come around. he could also relate to my frustration of applying to jobs and going to numerous interviews- only for them to tell me they wanted to go another route in hiring. he told me that he did the exact same thing before he finally found his recent job. i was thinking back and i thought he asked me why i didn't get responses from jobs sooner when applying for them because when he applied for jobs- they'd always tell him if he got the job around the same day of the interview. it might've been someone else that told me that, even though i'm almost positive it was him. at least he realizes that i'm actually trying to get hired because of all the interviews i have. i'm sure many people just assume i sit at home watching tv, on facebook, or doing something else unproductive during the day. that used to bother me until i realized what they think won't really change what i'm ACTUALLY doing during the day. they can think whatever they want. they seem to be worried about what I am doing MORE than i am worried about it. kinda surprising they don't have anything better to do than worry about what someone who is minding their own damn business is doing. also sad but it's not my problem. i read part of my book today about how people admire people who actually do what they say they're going to do rather than people who it takes longer for them to do things because they care what others think so much. i could care less what people admire but it irritates me that i'm sure the only reason why people read my blog is to monitor me, so they can say they actually keep in contact with me- so people will think they ACTUALLY talk and interact with me on a daily basis which couldn't be FURTHER from the TRUTH. point is- i don't need people carelessly surveillancing me when i'm a GROWN PERSON, who i GUARANTEE they could NEVER handle HALF the shit i've been through. i got myself this fucking far in life and I'M NOT STOPPING OR GOING BACKWARDS FOR ANYONE'S CONVENIENCE OR BENEFIT. this is MY LIFE. not amanda's. not my mom's. not fat amy's. those are just three of the people who i believe spy on me and they try to make it seem like it's for my own good when it's really because they have NOTHING BETTER to do! go read a book. seeing as i know my mom is capable of reading when she wants- it shouldn't be hard for her! i gotta get ready to go to spanish now..